“I Don’t do Art” Art Tour
Snacks are included with this tour!
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Meet the only Da Vinci in the Americas, and hear the story that makes you wonder how it even got here.
The art world, without the ego: rivalries, scandals, and one very famous missing ear (yes, your kids will care).
Fully indoor, climate-controlled, and zero logistics on your end.
A perfectly timed snack break with locally sourced treats to fuel you and your kids.
Private and fully conversational. Skip the lectures, pressure, pretending to “get it”.
We adapt in real time to your family’s energy, attention span, and curiosity, so it never feels forced.
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Timing & Arrival
Your tour begins at the scheduled start time, with a 15-minute grace window built in.
After that, we’ll do our best to adjust,but to protect the flow of your experience (and other bookings), we’re unable to extend tour time for late arrivals.
If you’re running behind, just give us a heads up, we’ll do our best to accommodate.
Security Entry (National Gallery Requirement)
All guests are required to pass through security at the National Gallery of Art.
A few quick notes:
Bags may be screened
Certain items (like aerosols) are not permitted
Reusable water bottles are allowed, but should be emptied before entry
For the full list of restrictions, please review the museum’s official guidelines in advance.
Walking & Pace
Expect up to ~1.25 miles of walking throughout the experience. That said, we adjust pacing in real time based on your group, whether that means slowing down, skipping ahead, or taking a breather when needed.
Accessibility
If anyone in your group has mobility considerations, let us know ahead of time.
We’ll plan accordingly to make sure the experience feels seamless from start to finish.
Real-Time Adjustments
Gallery layouts occasionally shift due to installations and preparations related to upcoming exhibits. We adapt on the fly to keep the experience smooth, cohesive, and uninterrupted.
Add-Ons & Custom Requests
Looking to elevate the experience? We’re happy to help.
We recommend confirming add-ons at least 48 hours in advance. Last-minute requests are always welcome,we’ll accommodate whenever possible.
Tour Format
All tours are conducted in English and designed to be interactive, conversational, and tailored to your group, not a one-size-fits-all script.
Experience Art the DC Way
Do you consider yourself an “art” person? Do you want to break down brushstrokes and color theory?
Wonderful. This is not the tour for you.
This is for the people who’ve stood in front of a Picasso thinking, “Okay… but who cares?” For parents who want their kids engaged without forcing it, and for teams who’d rather share an experience than sit through something polite and forgettable.
Inside the National Gallery of Art we skip the academic playbook and go straight to what actually makes art stick: the people, the surrounding circumstances, and the stories behind the work.
We start with Ginevra de’ Benci—the only Da Vinci in the Americas—and unpack not the brushstrokes or dense art techniques, but how Ginevra’s poetry influenced her portrait and the super secret mission that even got her here.
From there, the art world starts to feel more personable. Learn about the explosive fallout between Vincent van Gogh and Paul Gauguin that leaves us with one of the most famous injuries in art history and the calculated social maneuvering of Elaine de Kooning that helped position her husband Willem where it mattered most. These aren’t side stories, they’re the reason the art even exists at all.
About halfway through, we reset with locally sourced snacks, then head back in more curious and a little more informed.
Since the beginning of mankind, we have expressed ourselves through art, desperate to convey their emotions when the spoken word was simply not enough. Once you know how to interpret these big emotions, everything changes. And once you see it, you won’t be able to unsee it.
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